Calling

Recently, I have been struck by this idea of medicine as a calling. We all hear that in our lives, we feel it when we get into medical school. God has opened the door, this is now our calling, He has made a way, etc. Yet in residency in the midst of 30 (now 28 hours "shifts") we learn very quickly that what we can do, and what we want to do, can be at odds with each other as the newness, and excitement wears off. But still we are learning so much that, like in medical school, there is usually an excitement of seeing things for the first time, and even when that wears off we are so busy, that there is little time to reflect, you just do, do, do.
   I once met an Iranian Christian Rheumotologist on my medical school rotations, and his quote was "once the boards are over, the big question for the day becomes, what is for dinner?" Of course there was quite a bit of sarcasm in that saying, but the point was that once the learning is off the steep learning curve of training, and days and patients become more routine, then the focus can shift.
   You might wonder why I have been thinking about this as in previous posts, I have mentioned that no 2 months have been the same, and that my (prayerfully) last board exam (for a while) is on November 4th (prayer please!!). But what has gotten me thinking about this have been the sermons at church these past few months. For 2 years we were in Mark, first at our church in Virginia, then here at our church in Uganda. Kristy and I both wandered, "Lord really, why so much of Mark?" So maybe now that we have moved on to Acts, I am just excited to be in another book. But in Acts Paul talks a lot about his calling.
   While in medical training, calling is a romanticized notion; in Acts with Paul it is not. Paul is shipwrecked 3 times, beaten multiple times, stoned and left for dead twice. There is nothing romanticized about that, and yet He still "pushes on to claim the prize." (Phil 3:14)
   And I think that is why it is hitting me so hard now. Usually after 1 year on the field, the romanticized notions have gone (and sometimes only frustration is left). The ideas of changing the world are gone, of making this huge impact have at worst been reduced and reassessed. In many ways that is a good thing. Dealing with reality and what is truly possible is always better than dreaming about the farcical. But again the question comes, what do we do when: what we can do, and what we want to do are at odds?
    And that seems to come down to Paul's calling. Paul did what he was supposed to do, even when he did not want to. We talk about not wanting to get up in the middle of the night, but then saving a life, so it was worth it. But then when they die, was it still worth it? Is our calling any different? Are we called to obey or be happy? To use our God given talents and gifts to glorify Him or just make ourselves feel good about helping others? What happens when those feelings go away? Then our commitment to honor our calling, must take over. When it is not easy, when it hurts, when we hurt, as Paul praised and sang in prison after being beaten. What?? He must have been crazy, yes he kind of was, he cared nothing for this world, only the Father's will.
    This is Paul in 1 Thessalonians 2:2: "We had previously suffered and been treated outrageously in Phillipi, as you know, but with the help of God we DARED to tell you His Gospel in the face of strong opposition."
    So as we refocus for our second year, or our first long term stint, or wherever the Lord has us; (not that medicine has become boring or we know it all, that is never true in missionary medicine!); but let us (myself first) remember that our calling is much more than a romanticized notion, it is a real daily commitment to our Father, and our patients and may we dare to tell about Him no matter what.
  In closing, just some more scripture references: (in today's SP devotions, we talked about Habakuk) in Habakuk 3: 17-19, basically he says, though we have no food at all, "Yet I will (active choice) rejoice in the Lord; I will take (very active) joy in the God of my salvation." Phil 4:13 (we all know) but how about Phil 4:11-12: "Not that I am speaking if being in need, for I have learned to in whatever situation to be content (now that is missionary lifestyle!) . I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound, in ANY and EVERY circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. (Then, I can do all things through Christ). Tempered with Jeremiah 9:23-24, basically do not boast in anything but HIM!!

Praises:
  Very positive meetings this past Monday and Tuesday, our teams' prayer now is to have wisdom in using what the Lord has blessed us with.
   Kristy had a great and safe time with the high schoolers at a retreat this week.
Prayer Requests:
   Kianna has been sick this week, probable malaria, but is improving.
   Getting ready for team from Indianapolis Sept 29-Oct 3rd.
   Then board prep for 1 month till boards on Nov 4th.
   Lastly, that I can actually take the boards here on Nov 4th, that the test comes through, and the testing center works, etc, all can be issues anywhere, but especially here.

Thank you all for your prayers and your partnerships!!  The Vanderfords